jillosophy's DEF CON DEFINED

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If you find yourself unsure of what the different levels of Defense Conditions will mean to you and your daily life when the real world finally comes a'calling, here are some guidelines you might consider...

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DEF CON 5:

Break out the hookah pipes, fondu set and Grateful Dead CD's. Go right ahead and make plans on how you'll spend your retirement years. If you smoke, quit. If you drink too much, quit. Extend your gym membership.

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DEF CON 4:

Since you're spending more time at home - especially after curfew - take this time to make that list of "things you always meant to do before you died"... just in case.

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DEF CON 3:

Go online and start proceedings on that divorce you've always wanted... just in case. Or just pack your bags and hit the road.

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DEF CON 2:

Start eating whatever you want and drinking whenever you want - wherever you want. Get that sick tatoo you've always wanted. Make sure everyone sees it. If you don't smoke, start. If you don't drink, start. Look over your "list of things you meant to do before you died" and then burn it.

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DEF CON 1:

Forget everything you learned in kindergarten.

Break out the credit cards and SHOP LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!